What the heck am I talking about, you ask? Standing firm in your parenting decisions even if it means you may have to pay a price along with your child.
Transparent Topic: Sometimes parenting is embarrassing!
Let me paint the picture for you...
Hooray! Fall weather is coming and we get to break out our warm clothes. Hummm, I wonder if my kids have any clothes that fit from last year? Considering my daughter grew at least 4 inches this summer, it's a safe bet that absolutely nothing in her closet will fit this year. Guess I need to take her shopping.
Doesn't quite fit like it used to!
Saturday: "Let's go pick up a few shirts so you're not freezing tomorrow when the cold front comes through," says Mom. Shoulders slump, mumble, mumble, reacts daughter. Off to the mall we go and hey, let's bring grandma, i.e. Nonnie, along to enjoy the fun.
Mall scene: Okay, daughter, I know you don't like shopping so let's find just enough today to get you by and we'll save the bulk for another day. Mumble. Mumble.
Enter store #1: Wow! Record time. In and out in less than 2 minutes. That's what happens when you're staring at the floor and completely ignoring the plethora of clothes surrounding you.
Enter store #2: "Hey, this looks cute and I bet it'd look great on you," says Nonnie. Mumble. Mumble. Eyes avert to the floor.
Enter store #3: "Will you wear this?" asks increasingly frustrated mom. "NO! It's ugly and uncomfortable," mumbles wonderful daughter. "How do you know it's uncomfortable if you won't even try it on?"
Exit mall: No packages in hand and a fuming mad mother/daughter duo. Poor Nonnie!
At this point you're probably thinking this sounds par for the course, especially if you have a pre-adolescent daughter. Well, you're right, it's normal.
So here's the embarrassing part...We return home and I instruct happy daughter to go to her closet and pull out everything that no longer fits. I then ask her to evaluate what's left and show me what she plans to wear to church the next day.
Is it terribly wrong that I laughed at my own daughter when she told me the only thing in her closet that still fits is a Christmas shirt?! Oh, the natural consequences of our less than stellar attitude.
Guess what she wore to church the next morning?...Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
(Not her actual shirt but definitely one she needs.)
I honestly don't think she thought I'd actually make her wear it. Come Sunday morning we had made up, apologized and everything was good. So, naturally, she thought she could come grab something out of my closet and all is right with the world. I had a huge internal debate because I quickly realized that if I was going to make her learn this lesson then it was going to come at a cost to me too... embarrassment. Christmas in October. Enough said.
We both survived the day with only a few strange looks. I was pleasantly surprised that not a single person asked why she was wearing her Christmas clothes. Who knows what they were thinking though!
She sure lucked out that the forecast is warming up and she has another week or so before she has to break out her Santa shirt again.
What would you have done? Am I a mean mom? Have you ever let/made your kids do something embarrassing for the sake of learning a lesson?
Clearly...I need prayers. If my sweet daughter and I are going to make it through puberty then each and every one of you best say a prayer for us right now! But, the best thing is that I'm willing to pray for you too. It takes a village, right? Please leave me a comment or send me an email (dfrieling1@gmail.com) and let me know the struggles going on in your own life. I'd be honored to pray for you.
Sounds like perfect parenting to me! I am a huge believer in the idea that a parent should never lose. So way to stick to your guns! She will appreciate you when she is a parent.
ReplyDeletethink i would have done the same thing, too... consequences my friend! she had the opportunity to do something about it but she chose not to even try anything on. so it's her fault she's stuck with the christmas shirt, and you were right to make her wear it.
ReplyDeleteLove a mom who follows through with natural consequences...bet your next shopping trip will be more successful! :)
ReplyDeleteYep, I'm with you, sometimes you have to stand firm. I'm learning to let go of the clothes issue a bit. My boys hate to shop, so I end up doing a lot of online ordering for them from Old Navy, the Gap, etc. when they have free shipping, and buying 5 of the same thing in different colors!
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you stood your ground and had her wear the Christmas shirt….it's a lesson she surely learned about consequences.
You are my hero!! I love it that you followed through!! So many parents these days threaten consequences, yet do not follow through. I would have been like you...cringing, but I would have probably told everyone why she was wearing a Christmas shirt.
ReplyDeleteI am sure she would LOVE to shop after that!! I have a son that was like that, and after having to wear shorts to school when it was 38 degrees he said, I believe I am ready to go shop now. I tried the order online/shop without him, but he is so tall & skinny it is HARD to find pants to fit. So he goes with me now. I got really tired of standing in the return line!!
YOU GO GIRL!!! STICK TO THE STUFF!!
Hey girl! Is it horrible that I giggled throughout this read. A few good chuckles as well? I felt like I was reading about my own life with my daughter. I think you did the awesome mom decision to let her wear Christmas in October. Us mom's of pre-teens or full blown teens have to stick together and to our guns!
ReplyDelete