Transparent Tuesday

I really hope you guys had a lot more fun on Labor Day than I did! I must have been in a very literal mood yesterday. I woke up, painted boards for our guest room project then preceded to do 6 hours of yard work in 100+ degree temperatures. Crazy, right?! I'm soooo ready for cooler weather!

Anyway, onto today's transparent topic. It's a little different today in that I want to pose a question to you...

What do you wish your parents did differently when you were little?

John and I have recently been faced with the decision of continuing guitar lessons for Reed. Neither of us are particularly musical but Reed is constantly singing, humming and/or making noise of some sort. We decided to channel this noise-making into something that may prove beneficial for him. Hence, guitar lessons. 

Well, after almost a year of lessons and close to $900 spent, I can proudly (insert sarcasm) report that the child knows how to play Happy Birthday. Oh my! Right?! I'll be fair and tell you he has gained musical knowledge and knows how to play the beginnings of numerous songs, but that's it.

So, is Reed or his teacher to blame for this predicament? 

I told his teacher we were going to stop taking lessons. He gave me the guilt trip  the talk about how he talks to people everyday and when he tells them he teaches guitar lessons for a living he typically hears them say, "Oh, I took lessons when I was little." Then what typically comes next is, "Yeah, I didn't practice and my parents made me quit. Boy, I sure wish they had made me stick with it!"

Well, I'm happy to report that his pep talk worked! Although, not in his favor. We found a new teacher who appears to have an extreme passion for teaching guitar. After just one lesson, Reed is rockin'! He left the lesson and said, "That's the most fun I've ever had at guitar!"

So, at this second in time, it appears we made the right choice but this entire situation has left me wondering what decisions we're making for our kids today that they'll one day look back on and wish we had done differently?!

So, it's your turn...what do you wish your parents had done differently when you were little? Maybe we can use this knowledge to make better decisions today!

In true Transparent Tuesday fashion, please feel free to leave a prayer request. If you're struggling with a difficult decision, I'd love to pray about it for you. Leave me a comment or send me an email: dfrieling1@gmail.com.

Transparent Tuesday

Let's talk about friends today.
Transparency right?...I'm hard to be friends with. There. I said it.

I have very high expectations of my friends: trust, loyalty and a 2-sided conversation. Nothing bothers me more than a person who calls and dumps on you then doesn't even take the time to ask how you're doing.

I also have a very warped sense of humor. I will laugh at you uncontrollably if you trip, fall or do anything even slightly embarrassing. Does it make it any better that I also will laugh at myself in the exact same way?

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I'm not the type of person that has tons of friends. I have a million acquaintances but very few good friends. The topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot recently. Several days ago, I read a facebook post where a person expressed sadness that they didn't have 'real' friends. She described a 'real' friend as someone to send a random text to or someone who would call just because. I wondered how many others feel this same way but don't have the nerve to express it. 

That same day, I noticed my childhood best friend was on-line and posted a status of "when it rains it pours." I have no idea what she was referring to. We haven't talked in well over a year. I decided to send her a message to tell her I was thinking about her and told her a few memories that had danced into my brain about the countless nights we spent at each others homes when we were little. Guess what I got in return? Silence. No response at all. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure why we're not speaking.

Let's take a minute to reflect back on transparency. Why can't we all just be real with one another? My few good friends, know me inside and out. I can be transparent with them because I trust them. I know they're not going to use my short-comings against me.

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What is it that keeps us from being real with one another? Probably the same thing that's keeping me from picking up the phone and calling my childhood friend. Pride. It can be an ugly thing.

We are called to "love at all times." I still love my friend, but I'm not being a real friend unless I pick up the phone and try to resolve our differences.

What about you? Are you in need of prayers today? Maybe there's a relationship in your life where pride has reared it's ugly face. I'd be honored to pray for peace and resolution for you.

It doesn't have to be 'friend-related,' it can be anything. Leave me a comment or email your request to dfrieling1@gmail.com.

Transparent Tuesday

Gee, I start a series and the 2nd post falls on a holiday. What to do, what to do?! I guess you'll get a two-for-one special today, friends. I can't just ignore the fact that it's Valentine's Day, and I love all things heart, so here's a pretty picture to get you in the mood.

Pin It
What better way to say love than to say it in over 50 languages from all over the world? That's exactly what creates this cool heart from The Love Shop on etsy. I'll tell ya what I love...the stark contrast of that bright red against the white background. You can't help but notice the art when it's displayed in such a way. Pretty, pretty!

Okay, now it's time to dive into the deep stuff...

First of all, thank you all for such a supportive and nice response to last week's first 'Transparent Tuesday.' You guys are the best and I love getting to know each and every one of you who reaches out, on a more personal level.

So, friends, today's transparency has to do with relationships. Are you struggling with a relationship in your life right now? I've had one relationship in-particular that I've struggled with all of my life...my brother.

Here's a picture of him with my parents at his wedding this past weekend.

He's two-and-a-half years older than me and we've never had the relationship that I've longed for. In recent years I had given up hope, as all we could seem to do is fight with one another. Honestly, there's nothing I can attribute as to the reason we have such struggles. I think that's why it has been so frustrating for me. If there were a 'reason' then I could handle it better, but not knowing why he seemed to dislike me so much would just gnaw at me. I became very defensive whenever he was around because I was tired of getting my heart hurt. I was tired of wanting a relationship with someone who didn't want one with me.

I began praying about our relationship and asking God to "fix it." It was during this time that things seemed to get worse. We'd be around each other at family functions and he appeared to be trying his hardest not to acknowledge me. He'd politely answer any question I'd ask with a one word answer and then the conversation would die. Extremely strained and awkward! What's up, God, aren't you hearing me? Of course He is, but it's all about His timing, not mine.

My brother has a heart of gold and he is a great father, uncle and friend. I could see that in his other relationships and honestly, I was very jealous. He is the only person I've ever wanted to be friends with whom didn't want to be friends with me.

Well, friends, I don't have a huge resolution to share with you today, but I can tell you that the Lord's work was very evident during our time together this past weekend. God granted me peace to accept the situations I cannot change. I dropped my defenses and for the first time, I feel like I left with a glimmer of hope. We had friendly interactions and I actually left town wishing we had more time to spend together which is a huge contrast to the feelings I typically experience!

I share this with you in hopes of encouraging others to become more transparent. I know I'm not the only one who has a strained relationship that causes strife. If we're all a little more open about our struggles, then we can all help each other a little more!

My prayers today are prayers of praise and for continued healing of our relationship. What about you? Is there something or someone you'd like lifted up? I'd be honored to walk this path with you. Leave a comment with your needs or email me at dfrieling1@gmail.com.

A little bit of housekeeping: Several people left comments last week and I couldn't reach you because your blogger profile is set up as "no-reply." Click here to read a post that describes how to change this feature and start getting responses to your comments.

Happy Valentine's Day! Now go eat some chocolate!