I run out of necessity. If my world is turned upside down, I can quickly refocus by going for a run. Sometimes I'm physically exhausted and the absolute last thing I want to do is take that first step out the door, but every single time I do, it's worth it. When I'm really wrestling with something, I'm super focused and it's head down. This is literally my view...
But holy smokes, if I lift my head this is what I see...
Is anyone catching the symbolism here? Sometimes I get so bogged down with life that all I can see is the ugly. But, the second I decide to turn my focus upward, i.e. to God, the view is suddenly much more attractive.
I'm currently bogged down with the ugly. Life seems very overwhelming. We're moving to a place we're not overly excited about. My kids remind me daily that they "don't want to move." And, finding a house right now is like finding a needle in a haystack. Whew!
Before you start feeling sorry for me, let me tell you that there are certainly blessings going on around here. That's why I can easily pray this prayer...
We listed our house and received a contract from the first person who looked at it. Good news, right?! If you've ever sold a house you know it's not officially sold until the papers are signed and keys are exchanged. In fact, I received a call yesterday that gave me a mild heart attack. The buyer needs an extension due to funding purposes. Yes, that's one more week of turning potential buyers away and praying my buyer's bank approves his loan.
Other good news and displays of God's awesomeness...John called me after a day of working in Dallas in his new position and said, "I feel fulfilled!" This, my friends, is reason enough for us to make this move. I have no doubt that God created John for this role and to hear him verbalize a feeling of contentment and happiness is amazing.
So, God clearly knows I can only handle so much stress, i.e. not a lot. He took the selling part off my plate early but the buying part remains unanswered. Hence, this prayer...
Sometimes my prayers get wordy. It's like I think God needs all my explanations/justifications. But, really, all I need to do is ask him for his help. I "hit the wall" emotionally last Saturday and had several hours in the car alone as I drove to meet John in San Antonio for the concert. A good cry was in order and I did it no shame. Well, there was a little bit of shame when I showed up to the concert with a red nose and blotchy face. Why, oh why, couldn't I have been made to be a "pretty" cryer?
In between sets, a speaker offered a short lesson. Guess what the theme was?...Reset and Recharge. Um, yes. God? Are you trying to tell me something? Hence, my next prayer...
Plain and simple. I trust you, God. My world is whirling right now. Decisions about what area of town to live in, what school is right for the kids, should we entertain private school? Why am I so picky when it comes to finding a house? Is it too much to expect to like the house we're going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on? These are all questions that I struggle with as my head is down and I'm staring at the dirt. But, if I lift my head up towards heaven and stare at the "unknown big picture," I have faith and trust that God has these minute little details already worked out and it's my job to trust in His plan.
And, one last thing..."Hey God, you know that silly lesson in patience you're trying to teach me? Well, I'm good now. The patience boxed is checked and I'm ready to move on!"
9 comments:
i definitely believe it all works out as it should and you are being looked out for! hang in there!!!
You are always such an inspiration in so many ways! Heading to get my running shoes on! :)
The road may be a little bumpy right now, but you've already tackled so many hills...your husband likes his new job and your house is under contract! That is huge!! :)
If you're a runner, you will love Dallas. White Rock Lake is an amazing 9-mile loop perfect for walking, running, biking--and then there's picnicing. There's also a great in-town trail called the Katy Trail that's being extended from the American Airlines Center to White Rock Lake. Yes it's hot in Dallas, but it's dry. As a former Dallas and now St. Pete, FL runner, I miss dry heat... Plus there are running events and clubs galore in Dallas--a great way to meet folks in a new city. Good luck wiht yourmove! I think once yur family gets there and gets settled, you'll love it. We sure did.
Oh my friend. I cannot even begin to tell you how much this brings me back a few years in my own life. But I never cease to be amazed at how things work out, sometimes differently than I imagined, but they always work out. It's the waiting and not knowing that are so stressful, even when you know you're in good hands!
Keep running….and praying…..there's a turn in your path coming up! xo
Thank you for your honesty and realness in this post!! It reflects my cyclical relationship with God during times of trial. Praise Him that HE has it all under control!
-Katie
Sending you big hugs. It will all work out. You have the right attitude and are being real with your feelings - the rest will all fall into place eventually.
Jenny
Www.simcoestreet.blogspot.com
All I have to say is thanks for sharing:)
Good luck with all those decisions you've got to make. Change is hard and stressful. Just when I think I've learned enough about patience, I get tested even more. So ya, I know what you mean about feeling like you are done. But the Lord always has a plan for us, just like you said. Thanks for the reminder :)
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