I'm a selfish person.
I was recently placed in a situation that made me squirm. When we moved, I ended up about 5 minutes away from one of my high school friends. This wasn't on purpose. We were excited to be close to one another and couldn't wait to get together for dinner. And, we did. But, then it came...
"Hey, I don't have anything lined up for my son during the month of August and since we're both working, I was wondering if he could hang out with you guys until school starts?" she asked.
A normal person probably would have been fine with this request, but honestly, it filled me with fear. "Oh my! What am I supposed to do with an extra kid for an entire month?" "What if he doesn't get along with my kids?" "If this doesn't work out is it going to ruin our friendship?" "I can't run around in my pajamas all day doing house projects if someone else's kid is hanging around." "Will my own kids be resentful that I've invited another child into their little world that's brand new?" And, so on...
You see, I've never been a babysitter. Not even when I was younger. I cringed when neighbors would call and ask. I did it, but begrudgingly. My own mom was a bit scared that I'd never have kids of my own because of my dislike towards keeping others'.
But then it hit me. It was as if God was speaking straight to my heart. I said I was going to use this house as a ministry and we've claimed it as God's house, not ours. So if I was going to hold true to this commitment then I had to be willing to help out my friend, even if it meant doing something that made me uncomfortable.
So, I prayed that God would change my heart and my attitude. Boy, I sure am glad he answered this prayer quicker than he answered my "Help me find a house!" prayer! Within the first week, I quickly realized that I almost denied myself a HUGE blessing simply by being selfish.
My friend's son is a pleasure to be around. He's Bryn's age but Reed's size. He and Reed play beautifully together. This "distraction" has kept Reed out of Bryn's hair therefore; the sibling fighting has been non-existent. Can I get an amen?!! Even though he and Reed spend the majority of the day playing, Bryn has also had a chance to get to know him. They'll go to the same school so there have been many conversations about what it's like and what to expect. This has helped calm Bryn's anxiety about starting a new school in the BIGGEST way.
Once I put aside my selfishness, I was able to see that God knew this little boy was exactly what my family needed! And to think...I thought I was doing my friend a favor.
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