Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Transparent Tuesday

Let's talk about friends today.
Transparency right?...I'm hard to be friends with. There. I said it.

I have very high expectations of my friends: trust, loyalty and a 2-sided conversation. Nothing bothers me more than a person who calls and dumps on you then doesn't even take the time to ask how you're doing.

I also have a very warped sense of humor. I will laugh at you uncontrollably if you trip, fall or do anything even slightly embarrassing. Does it make it any better that I also will laugh at myself in the exact same way?

I'm not the type of person that has tons of friends. I have a million acquaintances but very few good friends. The topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot recently. Several days ago, I read a facebook post where a person expressed sadness that they didn't have 'real' friends. She described a 'real' friend as someone to send a random text to or someone who would call just because. I wondered how many others feel this same way but don't have the nerve to express it. 

That same day, I noticed my childhood best friend was on-line and posted a status of "when it rains it pours." I have no idea what she was referring to. We haven't talked in well over a year. I decided to send her a message to tell her I was thinking about her and told her a few memories that had danced into my brain about the countless nights we spent at each others homes when we were little. Guess what I got in return? Silence. No response at all. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure why we're not speaking.

Let's take a minute to reflect back on transparency. Why can't we all just be real with one another? My few good friends, know me inside and out. I can be transparent with them because I trust them. I know they're not going to use my short-comings against me.

What is it that keeps us from being real with one another? Probably the same thing that's keeping me from picking up the phone and calling my childhood friend. Pride. It can be an ugly thing.

We are called to "love at all times." I still love my friend, but I'm not being a real friend unless I pick up the phone and try to resolve our differences.

What about you? Are you in need of prayers today? Maybe there's a relationship in your life where pride has reared it's ugly face. I'd be honored to pray for peace and resolution for you.

It doesn't have to be 'friend-related,' it can be anything. Leave me a comment or email your request to dfrieling1@gmail.com.


Ange said...

Great post! I was just discussing friendship with my besty and another lady on Friday. All of us feel we only have one or two really good friends. My besty & I both just moved within the last two years and have noticed how hard it is to get to really know other women. I will be praying for you and your long time friend today. Thanks for being real and transparent here along with encouraging us to make peace and put away pride!

nancylmt12 said...

Loved your post; so honest! I immediately copied and pasted the photo of the kids on the bench to my best friend at work with the subject line "Hope you're having a good day!" With everyone's busy lives it sometimes takes effort to make friendship work.

becky said...

I'm so with you here. I find most people go thru life with blinders on and hardly ever see what's actually going on with others. It's not always selfishness but sometimes ... they just have no clue. I try to make it a point to really listen to others. My hope is that I'm not just so absorbed in what's going on in my life that I don't even notice what's going on with others. Please feel free to email me any time. I don't feel that I have many true friends anymore....so feel free to vent whenever. I'm a good listener.

Diana @ Your Day Simplified said...

Wow, what a topic for today! I struggle with this topic quite a bit. It seems like sometimes when you let someone see the real you, then you are judged so you clam up. Hmm...... luckily for me I have an amazing adult daughter who knows me and loves me just the way I am. Having an adult daughter is one of those things that I never thought about when she was born 27 years ago. Today is her birthday and I am so thankful for her. With my hubby living in Africa, she is here with me every day and I am so grateful!
I truly don't understand people either. Why can't everybody just be kind and honest???
Thanks for letting me vent! Thanks for being my new blogging friend too!

Lou Paun said...

Sometimes being a friend also requires patience and a sort of emotional generosity. I have had many moments in my life when I was too sick, and struggling too hard just to stay upright, so I couldn't respond to the kindness of my friends. (I am formally disabled now.) I remember one email that meant so much to me -- and yet I couldn't respond for over two months.
Fortunately for me, my friends were willing to wait for me to regain my balance. I am a fortunate woman! I can only try to be as good to all of them.

Hyphen Interiors said...

Lou made a great point - sometimes we are so caught up in our own pain or an email requires a more thoughtful response and the time isn't there... Great post! I love that you shared transparently. I think authenticity is hard to find these days and I love that you try to demonstrate it. I have several very close friend, but all live out of town or state at this point since we just moved. One of them was so close, truly like a sister, as we spent nearly every day together. And, yet, since we both moved out of state a few years ago, we've grown apart. It hurts at times because I miss her. I miss that friendship. But, I respect that she's busy and is sort of an out of sight, out of mind person. I do mourn the loss of that closeness though. It's not easy to come by. When you connect like that with people, you better hang on to them the best you can, huh. I don't take it for granted anymore.

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